The sibling effect
手足的影響
Another issue that may exaggerate the problems caused for the child is whether there are siblings. Sarah, the client I introduced at the beginning of this article, was an only child. This can be the most problematic upbringing for a child with an AS parent as it precludes having a sibling to play with, confide in and, most importantly, bond with. A young man who had a father on the Autistic spectrum told me he remembered that every Christmas and birthday his parents would buy him lots of toys and games; the trouble was that his parents would not allow anyone to come and play with him. This young man was struggling with being able to share and interact with other people and this was causing him difficulty in forming a relationship. Potentially he could also present some AS ways but, without doubt, this would be severely influenced by the lack of encouragement to interact that he experienced as a child.
另一個可能讓問題更嚴重的因素，是孩子是否有手足。莎拉，前面我在這章節開始時提過的個案，是獨生女。最棘手的問題可能是，父母是亞斯伯格、但沒有手足的孩子，就沒有人可以一起玩或相互傾訴，更重要的是，沒有人可以陪他建立親密關係。一個有自閉症父親的年輕人告訴我說，他記得每個聖誕節還有生日，他的父母都會為他買一堆玩具或遊戲；但問題是，他的父母拒絕任何人到他家陪他一起玩。這個年輕人疲於應付與他人分享或互動，這導致他在建立關係上有很大的困擾。他可能會在有些時候顯露出一些亞斯柏格的行為，但無庸置疑的，這個嚴重影響，是由於他在孩提時代、父母缺少鼓勵他去與旁人互動導致的。
Adolescence is often the hardest time for children growing up with AS parents as this is when they may begin to challenge parental control, opinions and demands. The AS parent will struggle to understanding their adolescent children and the developmental stage they are in and may see their behaviour as unacceptable. The parent may attempt to control their teenage child by undermining them or by making it difficult for them to have friends around, not because they wish to stop their child having friends but because they will not understand the importance of friendships as they themselves may have no need of friends. Some adolescents have given examples of their AS parent being very rude to their friends. One girl described how her father told her over weight friend that she looked like a Sumo wrestler. Her father had simply spoken his thoughts but the result was that her friend never returned.
青春期是這些孩子成長過程中最辛苦的時期，對父母而言也是，這個時期他們可能開始挑戰父母的控制、意見和要求。亞斯伯格父母對於了解十幾歲青春期孩子的感到無法招架，處於孩子成長階段的他們會認為孩子的行為難以接受。父母會嘗試藉由「破壞他們」或「讓孩子很難交朋友」來控制他們的青春期孩子，不是因為他們希望阻擋孩子有朋友，而是因為他們不了解朋友有多重要，就如同他們自己不需要朋友。一些青春期的孩子，會碰到亞斯伯格父母對他們的朋友非常粗魯的狀況。有個女孩描述，她的父親如何告訴她過重的朋友她看起來像個相撲選手。她的父親只是單純的說出他的想法，但結果是，她失去了這個朋友。
